One may be stubborn or a bad listener or may get irritated and face a little bit of friction between relationships. There are toxic traits that ruin the relationship. We all have great and bad habits that few partners could probably do without. But what are the ones that really do the relations the most harm.
Many experts observe relationships with toxic qualities that ruin the relationships. Here are few traits:
Refusal to listen
World is seen from one’s own perspective. No thought is allegedly seen for more than one way to look at or address the situation. Many a times it is a lot impuissant to see things from one’s partner’s point of view. Failure to listen despite several efforts to settle frictions burgeoning the toxicity. One American corporate leader cites that idea of listening may make your partners feel bad sometimes. So, one must take time to be heard. It’s like giving a great gift: Respect to your partner.
Assuming assumptions
Hell of toxicity is when one assumes without being understood or misunderstood. It is thus critical to clarify what other person knows what you know, sees what you see and has heard what you’ve heard. Assuming that our partner understood exactly what we were trying to say during the big fight is a major mistake. Time must be considered so as to ensure that both are on the same page.
Do no change (learn to accept)
A long year of togetherness is always lovely until one day the partners assess each other’s personality traits. One must learn to accept ‘her as is’ and ‘him as is’. Sharing the laughter, enjoying same hobbies together may sometimes open the conclusion that some things making differences between each other might be wrong. So, it is good to celebrate the differences rather than looking at the negatives. A writer quotes a golden rule “Do unto others as they would like to be done unto”, means do not assume that your ‘to be’ likes to be treated the way you would like to be, rather take time to really get to know each other.
Stubbornness is good
It can be an extremely good quality as it gives each other the perseverance to keep going even after the failure. Actively aggressive and vocal people tend to be more critical during the conflict and passively-aggressive and escapists tend to withdraw. So, recognise what type one is and what type your ‘to be’ is. It is natural tendency for a gal to go insane when the passive aggressive guy withhold affection without sorting out the matter. So, one believes that he/she is 100 percent right proving it to the partner with a fine line between being stubborn and assertive ; be it is a platonic or romantic relation.
Final thoughts
Try not to voice over your opinion. Break the stubborn personality, build trust and tidy up the messy little desk to shake off the tension. Prioritize to reduce the conflicts and constant bickering. It’s all about balance. Focus on the positives of the bond to lead a happy life together.
Jashan Jot Kaur is a researcher at Punjab Agricultural University, Ludhiana.
