As humans live in a challenging world, there is a tendency for disagreement between friends, family members, and spouses, especially in marriages and relationships of today.
Marriage is that ubiquitous institution encompassing all cultures, religious groups and races. In some marriage contracts, there is an exchange of properties, roles, terms of estates and statuses, but above this contract, marriage is an agreement entered into by vows and promises made by both parties, for instance, based on the notion, “till death do us part” commitment.
However, in modern times, the rate of failing marriages is disturbing, which comes as a result of numerous serious issues instance is educational inequality – the wide or slim gap between individuals in their approaches to life issues or challenges, a problem may arise as the less educated partner may be less knowledgeable in solving a challenge in the absence of the more educated partner or spouses or perhaps lack efficiency and effectiveness in handling or resolving crisis using various conflict resolution techniques.
Infidelity or sexual dissatisfaction – through technological advancement, has been able to solve the issues of sexual dissatisfaction to a large extent using medical and therapeutic processes.
However, many have still not taken advantage of this technological development or opportunity. When there is a decrease in sexual attraction or desire in a marriage, this signals grave danger.
Conflicting career and family goals and economic hardships – This aspect of career goals may be closely related to educational inequality but differently.
One partner may like to start a company to become the CEO of a multinational organisation, while the other partner may want to remain in an already established firm or organisation for the pay and maintain the status – quo; with these, conflicts may arise on who earn more or less, to pay the bills, care for the kids (if any), take care for the family insurance, sponsor family vacations and social gatherings.
Often arguments over small things may blow up into really big issues quickly, sometimes leading to physical assaults on some occasions and emotional and mental trauma.
Handling critical issues in modern marriages
Building a successful marriage requires three fundamental components: attraction, affection, and attachment. However, the following are general ways of handling critical issues in today’s marital relationships; however, they may differ with persons, cultures, religions and races.
- The need for openness and trust among couples or partners, effective communication, and friendliness enrichment in the marital relationship cannot be overemphasised. This can be made possible through mutual understanding, which should be emphatically stressed among partners daily.
- Faithfulness to each other in building up a healthy home should be the responsibility of both partners. Consequently, there is a need to put up with each other in love and understand no matter the existing strain in the home, sometimes knowing life can be unpredictable.
- The need for courtship is an important aspect of a successful marriage to understand each other in modern times better. During courtship, both partners should spend adequate time understanding themselves in terms of love languages, personality, acts of gratitude, sexual desires and general character – regarding their weaknesses and strengths, likes and dislikes, and failures and prospects to make well-informed decisions and adjustments where necessary.
- Visiting a trained marriage counsellor is very important before official marriage and during the wedding itself. When a partner feels stressed, lacks direction, and needs to speak on private and confidential matters, a marriage counsellor and therapy can be a life-saver.
Onah Caleb is a research assistant at Benue State University (Nigeria). He runs the blog KaylebsThought.
