Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT):

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of psychotherapy that focuses on how a person's thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes can affect their feelings and behavior. The goal of CBT is to help individuals identify and change negative patterns of thought and behavior in order to improve their emotional well-being.

CBT is based on the idea that our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are interconnected, and that negative thoughts and emotions can lead to negative behaviors and vice versa. For example, a person who has negative thoughts about themselves may engage in self-destructive behaviors, such as substance abuse or overeating.

CBT is typically provided in a structured format, with a specific number of sessions (usually between 10 and 20) that are scheduled at regular intervals. During each session, the therapist will work with the individual to identify negative thoughts and behaviors and to develop new, more positive ways of thinking and behaving.

Some specific techniques that are commonly used in CBT include:

-Cognitive restructuring: This involves identifying and challenging negative thoughts and beliefs, and replacing them with more realistic and positive ones.

-Behavioral techniques: These include exposure therapy, which helps individuals to confront and overcome their fears, and problem-solving skills training, which teaches individuals how to effectively cope with difficult situations.

-Relaxation techniques: These include deep breathing exercises and progressive muscle relaxation, which can help to reduce feelings of anxiety and stress.

CBT has been found to be effective in treating a wide range of mental health conditions, including anxiety disorders, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). It is also commonly used to help individuals cope with stress, relationship difficulties, and other life challenges.

CBT is considered as a short-term therapy and it is usually recommended for specific issues or for a certain period of time. It is widely used as an evidence-based treatment and it's often used in combination with other therapies or medications.

The techniques used in CBT can include:

Identifying and challenging negative or distorted thoughts: This involves identifying patterns of negative thinking and replacing them with more realistic or balanced thoughts.

Behavioral experimentation: This involves testing out the reality of negative thoughts through observation and experimentation.

Exposure therapy: This involves gradually exposing the patient to the source of their fear or anxiety in a controlled and safe setting, in order to desensitize them to it.

Relaxation techniques: This includes techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and visualization to help reduce anxiety and tension.

Problem-solving: This involves teaching patients how to identify and solve problems in a more effective way.

Mindfulness: This is the practice of paying attention to the present moment in a non-judgmental way, which can help reduce negative thoughts and feelings.

Group therapy: This involves working with a group of people who have similar issues, which can provide support and help patients learn from others' experiences.

Activity scheduling:

Activity scheduling is a common technique used in CBT to help individuals with depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions.

Activity scheduling involves creating a plan of activities that an individual can engage in to improve their mood and overall well-being. These activities can include things such as exercise, socializing, hobbies, and other enjoyable or meaningful pursuits. The individual is encouraged to schedule these activities in advance and engage in them regularly, even if they do not feel like it initially.

The purpose of activity scheduling is to help individuals break out of negative patterns of thinking and behavior, and to increase their engagement in positive activities. This can help to improve mood and reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety. Additionally, it helps to increase the sense of mastery and control over one's life, which can be particularly helpful for people who are feeling overwhelmed or helpless.

It's important to note that activity scheduling should be tailored to the individual and should take into account their specific needs and preferences. A therapist or counselor can work with the individual to develop an appropriate schedule and provide guidance and support as needed.

Behavioral experiments

Behavioral experiments are a key component of CBT, and involve testing out different strategies to change negative thoughts and behaviors. These experiments are designed to help individuals challenge and change negative thought patterns and beliefs in order to improve mood and reduce symptoms of distress. Behavioral experiments can take many forms, but they typically involve setting up a specific situation or scenario, and then observing the individual's thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in response. This information is then used to make adjustments to the individual's thought patterns or behavior, in order to improve their overall mental health and well-being.

Which mental disorders are treated by CBT?

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a widely used form of psychotherapy that is effective in treating a variety of mental disorders. Some of the most common mental disorders that are treated with CBT include:

  1. Depression: CBT can help individuals identify and change negative patterns of thinking and behavior that contribute to depression.
  2. Anxiety disorders: CBT can be used to treat a variety of anxiety disorders, including generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, and panic disorder.
  3. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): CBT can help individuals process and cope with traumatic events, and reduce symptoms of PTSD such as flashbacks and avoidance behaviors.
  4. Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD): CBT can be used to help individuals manage and reduce obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors associated with OCD.
  5. Phobias: CBT can be used to help individuals overcome specific phobias, such as fear of heights, flying, or spiders.
  6. Eating disorders: CBT can be used to help individuals address the underlying psychological issues that contribute to eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia.
  7. Substance use disorders: CBT can be used in conjunction with other treatments to help individuals overcome addiction and maintain sobriety.

It's worth noting that CBT is not effective for all individuals or conditions, and some patients may benefit more from other forms of therapy or medication. A mental health professional can help to determine the most appropriate treatment plan for an individual based on their specific needs and diagnosis.

Socratic questioning in CBT

Socratic questioning is a technique used in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) that involves asking a series of questions to help individuals examine and challenge their thoughts, beliefs, and assumptions. It is based on the Socratic method, which is a form of inquiry and discussion developed by the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates. The therapist uses a series of questions to guide the individual through a process of self-discovery and reflection, helping them to examine their thoughts and beliefs and to question whether they are accurate or helpful. This can lead to the development of more realistic and adaptive thinking patterns. The goal of Socratic questioning is to guide individuals to generate their own insights and solutions, rather than simply providing them with answers. Some examples of Socratic questions in CBT include: "What evidence do you have to support that thought?", "What are some alternative ways of looking at this situation?", "What would happen if you let go of that belief?". The goal is to help the person replace these negative thoughts with more realistic and balanced thoughts. Socratic questioning is based on the Socratic method of teaching and is a way to help individuals gain insight and understanding about their thoughts, emotions and behaviours.

            Here is an example of how Socratic questioning might be used in a CBT session:

Therapist: "What are you feeling right now?"

Client: "I feel really anxious about my upcoming presentation."

Therapist: "What thoughts are going through your mind when you think about the presentation?"

Client: "I'm sure I'm going to mess up and everyone will think I'm incompetent."

Therapist: "What evidence do you have to support that thought?"

Client: "Well, I've messed up presentations in the past."

Therapist: "What are some alternative ways of looking at this situation? What are some other possible outcomes?"

Client: "I guess I could also do well and impress my colleagues."

Therapist: "What would happen if you let go of the belief that you're going to mess up?"

Client: "I might feel less anxious and be able to focus better on preparing for the presentation."

Therapist: "What steps can you take to increase the chances of a positive outcome for your presentation?"

Client: "I can practice my presentation, get feedback from others, and remind myself that mistakes are a normal part of the learning process."

By asking a series of questions to help the client examine and challenge their thoughts, beliefs, and assumptions, the therapist is helping the client to generate their own insights and solutions

Is Socratic Questioning helpful for clients?           

Socratic questioning can be very helpful for clients in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) as it helps them to examine and challenge their thoughts, beliefs, and assumptions. By asking a series of questions, the therapist guides the client to generate their own insights and solutions, rather than providing them with answers. This process can help clients to gain a new perspective on their thoughts and feelings, which can lead to a reduction in symptoms such as anxiety or depression.

Socratic questioning has been found to be effective in helping clients to identify and change negative thought patterns and maladaptive beliefs, which are often at the root of mental health issues. It can also help clients to develop problem-solving skills and improve their ability to cope with difficult situations. Additionally, Socratic questioning is also a tool to help clients to engage in self-reflection, which allows them to be more aware of their own beliefs, values, and motivations.

In summary, Socratic questioning can be a helpful tool for clients in CBT as it can help them to challenge and change negative thoughts and beliefs, develop problem-solving skills, and engage in self-reflection, which can lead to a reduction in symptoms and improvement in overall mental well-being.

From 2007 onwards, the use of smartphones increased to a greater number making 95 percent of iPhone and android and the remaining are windows and others, but the choices remained different among users of smartphones indicating/showing their personality difference. That is the reason that spending 5 hours a day, why some people use iPhone and some use android and among android, Samsung is on the top.

Some of the facts found in the research of Heather Shaw and others are discussed finding personality difference between iPhone and android users. To answer the question, you will get interesting answers about it but what those personality differences are.

Android usersiPhone users
According to a survey, Mostly older people use android phone.Android users do not consider smartphone as an object of status.In the research, android users were found honest, sincere, they avoid greed and are fair. Android users are emotionally stable which is a good quality needed for pilot jobs when they are psychologically tested.Android users have openness to experience. Openness people are original in actions, imaginative and this quality makes them creative writers and they are curious and creative.Heather Shaw found in the research that Android users do not like common products to buy they have a need for uniqueness. This can be the reason android phones are in several products such as Samsung, a leading product. Android users do not use other people for personal gain and they do not bother in breaking rules. Research found that they are not interested in wealth, luxuries and making a high status.  Among iphone users mostly young females use iphone.iPhone users consider their smartphone as an object of status. Extended-self theory explains that a person exercises a control over an object which represents his/her identity because of control the object is made his extended self, and that can be a smartphone. Interestingly, research found, iPhone users as having less honesty and they do not avoid greed. The scale applied had variable of honesty-humility which iPhone users scored less in it. iPhone users have high levels of emotionality. 

Some other differences according to a survey include

Android usersiPhone users
Android users’ spending money is not associated to their use of phone type. Android users house income is slightly lower than the iPhone users’ house income approximately $ 60,000 plus.According to a survey in the Forbes, among android users, male users are higher in number.Android users are working as technical staff in organizations.Mobile phone addiction is reported less in android as compared to iPhone.Android users keep less cars for themselves.    iPhone users spend more money than android users.iPhone users total house income is greater and that is approximately $ 80,000 plus.iPhone users are more educated but a slight difference between the two users.iPhone users are professionals and businessmen. They use their phones for an extended time than users of android. They keep more cars for themselves.

This division means that users set their smartphones according to their needs by customizing its functions. This means they are personalizing things around them including smartphone and this possession reveal their personality. Such as downloading the type of apps reveal your personality, wearing watch reveals that the person is disciplined or sensitive to be punctual and choosing a colour can also reveal a person’s nature.

By customizing the settings of smartphone and its possession represent personality traits. The nature of a person is also revealed Such as in downloading the kind of apps, wearing a wrist watch that can represent the discipline or sensitivity to be punctual, choosing a colour etc.

If we look to use of mobile so women use their mobile phones for more text messages, calls and photos by making selfies. Whereas, men use mobile phones as an entertainment object using it for watching videos and playing games.

For information in a video format please refer to our youtube channel : YouTube/PSYCH4HEAL Therefore, iPhone users share some personality characteristics which are unique. iPhone users in the research of Heather Shaw and others, are revealed as considering their mobile phone as an object of status. Moreover, they are greedy (according to the scoring of the scales applied in the research), are less honest, emotional they earn more than the android users. Their annual calculated salary is higher than android users’ calculated salary. Whereas, android users are honest, sincere, avoid greed and are emotionally stable. They earn less money than iPhone users and they do not consider mobile phone as an object of status. Android users are creative writers, they make technical staff, use less cars, they are original in actions. On the other hand, female users are using iPhone more than male users and they are professional, businessmen, phone addicts and status conscious.

Does money increase your happiness?

To answer the question, we will look at some researches that focused on the amount of money and purchasing choices.

The amount of money you have and how you spend your money greatly matter in getting happiness. Therefore, money is used for purchasing things used in daily life and making life comfortable.

  1. Material purchase:

It is often thought that material purchase is the source of happiness, but it is a myth. In fact, Material purchase can

  1. save your time if you purchase materials for your comfort and ease.
    1. Make you understand the worth of your job or business that is the source of income.
    1. Give you short term happiness (due to material purchase)
    1. Increase short term excitement but later it diminishes because you experience the materialistic thing you bought and now you feel less excited for it.
  2. Pashto speaking people often quote ‘’ Tar Khwaralo ya Thama Sha Da’’ meaning that its better to wait than eat. This means that the excitement before getting something makes you happier than getting it as it gets habituated after you get something. Maintaining this excitement is the actual happiness.

But how can you get long term happiness?

  • Experiential purchase:

Experiential purchase can increase your happiness (long term) if you spend money on:

  1. Your core values that benefits others too.
    1. Family experiences and friends (spending on your family and friends and making a wonderful social experience: family tours/outing and gatherings with friends).
    1. Help someone achieve his or her personal goals.
  • Spending on maintaining good relationship:

Spending on making your relationship stronger and warmth and increasing excitement in your relations can greatly increase your long-term happiness. Including

  1. Spending on abstract things not physical
    1. A message or a call to your friend abroad
    1. Spend more time for your social connection

The researchers of an interesting research stated that ‘’friends are worth more than a Ferrari’’

They meant that thinking of having more time for social connections increases happiness whereas, thinking about money does not increase happiness.

The researchers Powdtharee & Wilkinson compared the it is worth $ 20 million if you are healthy, it is worth more than $ 300000 if you are enjoying married life, and it is worth nearly $ 200000 if you are regularly interacting with your neighbours around. The researchers in psychotherapy states that successfully completing a psychotherapy increases your happiness 32 times greater than the happiness that is increased by having more income.

  • Altruism:

Sigmund Freud, who is called the father of Psychology, is famous for his theory in which he talked about the defence mechanisms or Ego defence Mechanisms for reducing the effects of minor psychological problems or unconscious conflicts that frequently occur includes Altruism.

            Altruism is helping other people without getting anything in return which can include:

  1. Donations for the welfare of people, community or society
  2. Spending on others when they someone’s help
  3. Directly helping poor families
  4. Supporting individual efforts and talents
  5. Spending in charity
  6. Helping people in disasters etc

This can greatly enhance your happiness owing to the satisfaction you get after helping people.

Rabbi Hyman Schachtel said that ‘’Happiness is not related to having that you want but it is related to wanting that you have’’.

This topic discusses memory problems including 5 theories of forgetting, brain injuries, Alzheimer’s disease, Memory strategies, Hierarchy method, reconstructing memory problems (eye witness testimony), trained memory, relearning, associated memory including emotion associated learning, trauma and memory, meaningfulness, beliefs and memory, creating information and intentions to teach. This topic includes the overall awareness about memory problems and how to improve memory through different techniques.

Memory problems:

There are many theories that describe reasons of forgetting and there can be many more reasons. Describing theories of forgetting can help many people to get awareness of their memory problems. If there are some problems regarding collision of skull with any object or injuries owing to accidents, these can be classified as problems different from those theories of forgetting describe.

Theories of Forgetting:

Forgetting occurs due to:

  • Decay:

This theory states that you forget because you do not repeat the information as a result this information decays and you lose information.

  • Interference:

You forget information because it is mixed up with other pieces of information in the memory most probably the information similar in content has high chances of forgetting. That is the reason that previous information replaces new information called it Proactive interference and when new information replaces old information is called retroactive interference.

  • Encoding Failure:

You forget information because you never stored it and you just heard it or read it but you did not let it enter in your memory for storage due to lack of attention. Ex. For example you cannot easily recall all the signs and information on a currency coin the reason is that you did not memorize it at the first place, so you don’t remember later.

  • Retrieval failure:

You forget because right now at the time of recalling information temporarily disappears from your mind. Information in your memory you feel it but you cannot recall it.

  • Motivated Forgetting:

Motivated forgetting occurs when you are motivated to forget information because the information is unpleasant, and it takes time if the information or experience is very painful.

Brain Injuries/Trauma:

            Sometimes amnesia, which is the partial loss of memory occurs owing to injury to the skull. Either before the injury experiences of life are forgotten or after the injury the person cannot remember information and this case is very painful because after the injury if someone cannot remember things this condition cannot unfortunately be recovered.

Psychological disorder:

                                    Some psychological states such as stress, anxiety, major depression and any trauma can really affect memory performance.

Alzheimer’s Disease:

                        A deterioration of mental functions which starts by deteriorating memory functions especially. The affected person’s memory problems aggravate with the passage of time. This progressive mental deterioration leads him/her to inability to recognize his/her own family member. This disease is fatal, and the person cannot recover from it.

Memory strategies:

  1. Hierarchy for Long term memory:

Hierarchy is basically categorizing information step by step to have a classification. Each sub topic is covered in classifying the main topic in this hierarchy method. For detailed study or if the information is very detailed the best strategy is to classify and make a hierarchy aa it is a kind of organization. Subjective papers in exams cannot easily be remembered on finger topics. Such topics need to be classified so that they can be remembered easily by visualizing the exact picture of its classification. This needs your detailed study and after your studied all the material, you can classify them for better memorization. People who prepare for subjective papers of competitive exams use the same technique. This helps because one can remember lots of material on a single page by making a hierarchy.

It can easily give you a cue during attempting papers in exams by providing all the details from just a cue of the classification map that you make of each topic that includes all the details and sub headings of the topic.

Reconstructing Memory:

            When you talk about an event again and again your reconstruction of memory can change the actual events details into misguiding details that are not consistent to the original events. Therefore, remember each time you reconstruct memory it can mislead you to false information. Don’t repeat it subjectively over and over rather repeat it objectively and it can save you from wrong details owing to reconstruction.

Trained Memory:

            Neuroplasticity can be a logic explanation for trained memory owing to its scientific nature. When you repeatedly practise memorizing information, your brain makes pathways for extending and strengthening its network by extra synapses (an explanation of neurogenesis) and more flow in the neurons when neural messages flow in those specific neurons. Such a practice of memorizing information can help the memory be trained in a way that the person feels memorizing information is his favourite hobby.


            Relearning is basically learning the material again because you have not repeated information for a long time. But try to relearn it objectively as reconstructing memory as earlier mentioned can mislead you. This can be ‘’activation maintenance’’ as the information is forgotten from memory if you do not recall it for a long period of time. This is basically maintaining the network of the specific memory active in your mind.

Associated Memory: /Conditioned memory

            Generally, memory is associated to a cue but association of context, emotion and your mood can also have an impact on your memory of that event or information.

Stimulus      ————————————————————————————     Response Association

Emotion Associated Learning:

            In the presence of emotion, memory of an event or information gets stronger and remain active for longer. Because memory is state dependent, your emotional state can also be the state that you memorize information.

The more intensive the associated emotions with the memory are, the stronger and long lasting the memory will be. Perhaps, emotions can be negative, but the stronger emotions are love, peace and gratitude which are positive emotions.

  1. Context and Retrieval: The context while remembering information should be same with the context when you retrieve the same information.
  2.  Mood Congruence: the consistent the mood while retrieving information with the mood when you learnt the same information that you are recalling now, the stronger will be the retrieval.
  3. State-dependent retrieval: When you depend on something while studying such as coffee, tea, juice or any cold drink and even it can be spraying a perfume should be provided to you while the retrieval of the same information.

Drinking tea while study _______Topic: Climate change________ Drinking tea while retrieval

  • Retrieval can most probably be in exams apart from general discussion on different forums. The same context, mood and state of your body or mind dependent on something can be helpful in giving you hints about the topic that you memorized. Because those associated cues with your learning can be activated by the context, mood and your state.

Trauma and Memory:

            Traumatic experiences are so intensive that the person mentally lives in the experience even after the actual event. That’s the reason why affected person of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) remains in fear owing to the intensively remembering actual events in his memory.

            This can be an awareness for us that how we can deliberately associate positive emotions to our study material or any learning activity to be remembered.

Trauma     ______________________________________________     Stronger memory

                                      (Because emotion is associated)

Reading or studying material    _____________________________     Normal memory

(Because mostly emotions are not associated)


            Meaning is very vital in the material for study that information can be kept easily in mind when you understand its meaning. Sometimes, children cannot recall what you teach is because they don’t easily understand the meaning. Similarly, as an adult, you need to absorb the meaning of information that you would like to remember.

            Herman Ebbinghaus’s experiment on memory can help us understand what the importance of meaning is in memory. He tested himself with the words such as SIB, RAL etc in order to reduce previous learning factor because he wanted to test the memory, so he created new words. His forgetting increased within a week and he forgot all the words in less than a month period. This experiment concluded that because of the words SIB, RAL etc which lacked meaning was forgotten. Therefore, Herman Ebbinghaus concluded that meaning is essential for building a stronger memory for information.

Beliefs and Memory:

            Your beliefs track your mind and it works the way you would like it to work. It depends when you would like to learn lots of material and it can be preparing for an exam and you continuously study and if you believe you cannot memorize all the information it is possible that you are right. On the other hand, it is also possible when you believe you can learn and memorize all the required information or study material. The difference is in the beliefs because you program your memory through your beliefs about your ability to learn and memorize.

Creating Information:

            Your learning is enhanced when you create information by writing or trying to discuss a topic from different perspectives.

Intention to teach:             Whenever you would like to learn new material through reading or attending lectures so keep in mind that you will teach your fellow students or colleagues and that you focus and try to absorb it completely. This can result in your better learning. Your actions follow your intentions and your memory gets stronger for the information you think you will later reproduce it to teach others.

Due to growing problems of relationship all over the world, managing or regulating good relationships are not easy but are possible with some relationship techniques that are scientifically approved and works well.

Generally, intimacy is believed to be the factor managing relationship, but people have different approaches to intimacy. Some people take time for developing intimacy, some get close to each other easily and some friends turn to be lovers but rewarding relationships do not break up the way unrewarding relationship break up. Rewards are the among the main factors that keep a relationship on track but sometimes relationship change.

Relationship change:

Relationship change over the passage of time due to changing life and purpose and may be sometimes due to the activities of the partner. Relationships do not remain the same sometimes they get deteriorated but keep in mind the circumstances that are also playing a role in changing or aggravating relationship problems.

According to Social exchange theory:

Relationships are best regulated when

Relations are maintained by

  1. Rewards: the social exchange theory states that it is reward that can be given and taken back for a mutual progress of good relations. Law of effect argues that those behaviours which are rewarded they are repeated. If partner A rewards partner B by praising, taking care of him/her or showing love in anyway on a kind of action that partner B played so in the future partner Bb will again show the same action that partner A likes.
  2. Fun: both partners as a couple enjoy fun with each other and remain happy finding fun and enjoyment in the relationship as they combinedly enjoy the fun in their lives.
  3.  Company: the sharing of feelings with the opposite gender and love is among the human needs. This is a kind of emotional attachment with your partner where you share your feelings and your partner shares feelings. This is a mutual exchange of feelings and emotional attachment and support for couple.
  4. Intimacy: intimacy is a sharing element between partners which is considered natural in every relationship that’s why marriage is considered a solution by most people to have an intimate relationship. But partners should understand the nature of intimacy.

According to social psychologists, social exchange makes a balance sheet of business of relationship as both partners have to exchange fun, company, and intimacy.

Among rewards, best rewards are

  • Companionship
  • Happiness that is shared with your partner
  • Love
  • Subjective awareness about rewards are that females consider understanding themselves and their self-importance are the important rewards for them whereas male partners prefer intimacy as a good reward for themselves.
  • Research shows that loss for women in this imbalance of relationship is self-identity and for men is monetary loss.

Sometimes couple continue relationship even in the absence of such rewards because it’s the investment according to equity theory that when a partner spends time with another partner this becomes an investment and they do not like to quit.  (a positive sign)

In this situation, the suffering one should talk to other partner to suggest what they can do to improve their relationship. Sometimes, talking on the problems with possible solution becomes the need of the time to make it on track.

Equity theory:

Equity theory explains relationship in terms of input and output. For example, male partner’s time spending with the partner, financial help, sharing feelings of love, gifting, helping in household or official matters, arranging a dinner or going out to relax on weekend can be the examples that a male partner would do as input for making relationship stronger and more loving. Similarly, the female partner should also try to give output to the male partner by giving an input the same way the male partner does. This creates equality of giving input and getting output because it’s a mutual exchange.

  • Advice: an advice is given to the partners not to count the costs of relationship only but count the rewards and don’t try for alternatives rather try to maintain your existing relationship because choosing alternative can easily become habituated again, so the problem may remain the same.
  • Equity theory argues there should not much difference between the input and output by both partners because it can give rise to problems in relations. Partner with higher input and getting less output may feel dissatisfied and partner with less input and more output feels guilty. This makes relationship unhealthy and unequal if the purpose is a short-term relationship but for long term relationship, couple try to recover and improve their relationship.

This balance can be achieved by

  • Giving equal input instead of a lot of input plus encouraging your partner to equally contribute if he/she is not doing so.
  • Secondly, change the perspective or view the rewards from another healthy perspective.

A study conducted by walster et al (1978) concluded the results after graduate students’ data asking about the input and output of the relationship by both partners and their surety about being together by scoring 1-5 on questionnaire. Interestingly, 4 and half months later, those at the time of questions had positive attitude about the equity of their relationship were confident to continue relationship. On the other hand, those who appeared dissatisfied with the equity of their relationship at the time of questioning were not intending to continue their relations after 4 and half months later.

  • Researchers found that there is an association between equity and the relationship satisfaction. Perhaps, when partners see less equity their feeling of dissatisfaction can be induced and as a result finding relationship less healthy and supportive. As being different personalities, partners may not always agree with each other on every point of view but a compromise on both part can save their arguments and solve their problems. Research confirmed the association of happiness with equity and it dissociates equity with dissatisfaction.
  • ‘’Being with the partner makes me happy’’ confirming ‘’we have quarrels and ‘’irritation between the couple were the statements of investigation. Maris concluded that a perception of having less output in relations by women was associated to the breakdown taking place later.
  • Some researchers found this equilibrium factor as affecting individual oriented families rather combined families couples.  

Interdependency theory:

            It explains investment and commitment in relationship and these keep couple stay together. Such as time spending with each other or sharing feelings are intrinsic investment that keep couples stay. Whereas something that cannot be lost such as photos, or group of mutual friends can keep couple stay together as extrinsic investment.

  • Couples remain together when they depend on each other fulfilling their needs. These needs may be basic needs of survival and social needs of connectedness. Sometimes, a long-term relationship cannot easily be broken just because couples see their dependency for themselves and the time they have spent strengthens their dependency it’s a kind of great investment in relationship.
  • A study on married couples explored about commitment by both of the partners in their marriage a sign of stable relationship. (Impett, Beals & Peplau, 2003). A meta-analysis study also confirmed commitment a predicting element in stability. The time and effort made in a relation can even help stay in relationship in the presence of a violent partner.

Gender Difference:

      Rusbult (Rusbult et al., 1991) found that women like to discuss about problems in their relationship intending for improvement, but men do not talk about such problems and refuse to talk. This can aggravate the problems such as gender behaviours can increase misunderstanding because women consider men as careless when they do not talk about relationship problems and men consider women to make irritate by talking much about problems.

Attachment style:

      Couples having secure attachment style usually find solutions to improve relations in time of bad situations with partner by adjusting and improving themselves as partners (Kobak and Hazan, 1991).

Whereas, in ambivalent attachment style, couples experience anxiety and express anger while arguments about relationship problems because they are much aware of emotional states of partners.

Unhappy Relationship:

            For a happy and unhappy relationship, Gottman conducted longitudinal study and indicated that four factors were shared by unhappy couples. These are;

  • Criticism: criticism on partner on many matters.
  • Defensiveness: unhappy partner judges his/her own behaviour as right and that of the partner’s behaviour as wrong.
  • Contempt: a strong feeling that partner is good enough.
  • Stonewalling: ignoring to talk about relationship problems.

Couples who intend to stay happy may think on the mentioned factors.

Relationship Satisfaction:

Constructive ways that help run relationship satisfied by Rusbult are,

Constructive ways that help run relationship satisfied by Rusbult are,

  • Accommodative Behaviour: reacting in a constructive way to a problem rather than putting yourself in competing arguments. As arguments between couple can create problem in their relationship.
  • Blindness on alternatives: you have to keep your eyes closed for alternative people if you intend to improve your relationship because conflicts in all long-term relationships are unavoidable, but you have to manage it in a better way.
  • Compromise: in order to maintain relationship smoothly, couples have to compromise their own targets or activities which can imped the smooth running of their relationship. Compromise is done where there are less options and where sacrifice of a partner can save relationship. It’s a very helping tool in many cases when couples get into conflict and the important is that a partner should understand how a single sacrifice can save them from many problems. Compromise should be doable to save yourself not be affected by a bad habit of your partner or a conflict. In this case ‘’acceptance’’ is the way to deal with a problem. Accepting the bad or disgusting habits of your partner because acceptance gives you a way to be on track of life and go on. Along acceptance try to focus on the positive aspects of relationship and appreciate that.

Education and employment:

      Those couples who are qualified and are employed they have happier relationships and they have stability (Karney & Bradbury, 1995).

Understanding yourself:

      Defining yourself as a different person from others around you is a key to understand your sensitivity and your strengths. Being a partner, you have to understand yourself, your needs, sensitivity and your temperament as a unique personality can help you get control over many problems in your social and married life.

Couples must understand themselves as being different personalities living together while taking care of each other. This understanding of themselves can really help them how to communicate, what to take care of and what things to ignore and consider things not for them. There are many other factors such as habituation a very important factor will be discussed next.

For information in a video format please refer to our YouTube channel: YouTube/PSYCH4HEAL


  1. Rusbult, C.E. (1983) a Longitudinal test of the investment model. The development (and deterioration) of satisfaction and commitment in heterosexual involvement. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 45: 101-17.
  2. Rusbult, C.E., Verette, J., Whitney, G.A, Slovik, L.F. and Lipkus, I. (1991) Accommodation processes in close relationships: theory and preliminary empirical evidence. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 60: 533-78.
  3. Rusbult, C. and Zembrodt, I.M (1983) Responses to dissatisfaction in romantic involvements: A multi-dimensional scaling analysis. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 19: 274-93.

Walster, E., Walster, G.W. and Berscheid, E. (1978) Equity Theory and Research. Boston, MA: Allyn.

Depression is so common that it is called the cold of psychiatry, but its treatment is easy if a person follows the steps of psychotherapy. In this video, you will watch symptoms of depression and the treatment through Cognitive Behavioural Therapy practices.

Let’s have a look at the symptoms of depression first.

            Symptom No. 1: Depressed mood, nearly every day.

Depressed person experiences depressed mood most of the time during the day and almost every day generally in all situations, especially at work, at home or in a social group.

No. 2: Loss of interest in activities.

Owing to depression, depressed person’s active and happy participate decreases in activities. In depression, excitement reduces, and the person may not initiate activities. Generally, a depressed person does not experience any pleasure from interactions with friends, family or accomplishing any tasks at work or at school. Thus, depressed person wants to detach himself from activities because of loss of interest or pleasure in activities.

No. 3: Significant changes in weight or appetite

Weight either is gained or lost in depression and the changes occur in appetite. These changes are felt after the attack of depression. Such changes in weight are not the result of any diet but because of the changes in mood and behaviour which affect weight of the person.

No. 4: Insomnia or Hypersomnia:

Depressed person experiences problems in initiating and maintaining sleep which is called insomnia, or the sleep can go for excessive periods of time which is called hypersomnia. The depressed person in hypersomnia approximately sleeps 9 hours or more daily and feels the need for sleep in day times even getting enough sleep in the past night.

            No. 5: fatigue or loss of energy:

Decreased energy, fatigue, being tired are common in depressed person. It is so prevalent that the depressed person’s efficiency of the work may reduce to an extent that the person feels tired of even washing and dressing in the morning and this symptoms alone sometimes considered clinical depression as procrastination.

            No. 6: Feelings of worthlessness

The reason for worthlessness feelings is the unrealistic negative evaluations of the person’s own value or worth. On the other hand, guilty is felt because of a minor, uncountable mistake over the previous failed performance.

            No. 7: Reduced ability to concentrate

Depressed person reports impaired ability to concentrate, make decision or think. Their attention is easily distracted, and their performance is affected especially when they are engaged in cognitive tasks. Thus, due to concentration difficulties their memory is seriously affected which can be mistakenly diagnosed as Pseudodementia, a problem of memory.

Automatic Negative Thoughts: automatic negative thoughts are the reasons which result in depressed mood, loss of interest, change in weight, sleep disturbances, fatigue, feelings of worthlessness and concentration. But when automatic negative thoughts are changed into functional thoughts, so the following psychotherapeutic treatment can really help in recovery from depression.

Psychotherapeutic treatment

The first step in starting the psychotherapeutic techniques is to recognize the negative thoughts and when they start in your mind. Then the next step is that you would like to stop the practice of these thoughts that are resulting for you in a great worry. As you recognize automatic negative thoughts then you can stop their practice by the techniques such as

Technique no. 1: Sensational alertness/Abstraction:

            In this technique, the depressed person should try to experience present situation by listening to all the voices in the environment coming to him. It’s a practice to make yourself mindful so that you can prevent yourself from automatic negative thoughts which makes you depressed. These thoughts further increase the symptoms so if you would like to decrease the symptoms you have to stop the practice of such thoughts of your mind.

Technique no. 2: Backward counting

            If you are depressed and you experience hopelessness and automatic negative thoughts which automatically come to your mind, you can use backward counting. In order to change the practice of absent mindedness and negative thoughts, you can use this technique to relieve yourself from the worry coming from your thoughts.

Technique no. 3: Object Description

            If you are depressed, you can use this technique whenever you recognize that you are thinking negatively so just focus on an object in your environment in front of you at the moment. This description should include the information about the object, all its uses, its manufacturing, its colour, its price, its availability place, its benefits etc. the reason is that you will change your dysfunctional thought into a functional and mindful thought so that you can prevent automatic negative thoughts that result in depression.



This intriguing question can make us aware of the factors that are playing role in making men and women happy. But who are happier men or women?

                Let’s have a look at some studies conducted on happiness of men and women.

  • Research articles published before 1990 conclude that women are happier than men in the overall statistics of research finding but is not very high. On the other hand, the research studies conducted in many parts of the western North and other parts of the world concluded a decline in the happiness level of women from 1970 decade.
    • Before 1990, women were happier but after this time period men were reported to be happier than women. Factors responsible are the marital status both for women and men including their age, how much they earn, and how many children they are growing. Stevenson and Wolfers (2009) reported a decline in the overall satisfaction for both women and men’s life, but for women slightly lower. Further, research concluded the age difference of the two genders that women before midlife (48 years of age) are happier but after midlife men score higher on happiness. Research reports that expression of emotions is higher in women, so they have higher ability to express happiness and they discuss about issues more than men do.
    • It’s a catharsis too when women talk more about the issues or relationship etc but Deborah Tannen (2010) concluded that because of their friendly and comfortable expressions they talk about things in a friendly and calm way to convey what they want to convey is the reason of happiness plus what matters is the person to whom they talk.  These positive emotions are primarily the reasons of their joy (it has a social element when they would like to talk to important people in their lives).

Reasons for Women’s happiness:

        The reasons for women’s happiness are positive self-esteem, harmony in life, being religious and emotional or psychological intimacy.

Whereas, men find happiness in their positive self-importance, stable control of mind, and leisure.

Good Look/ beauty and happiness:

        Good look is generally thought to be associated with happiness. Some researchers rejected the assumption of the relationship of good look with happiness, but a research study found the association of good look with happiness only for urban women.

Being Taller:                 Being taller is associated to increase your happiness. Those people who are taller than average height people are happier, and they do not usually feel sad and do not experience pain compared to other people (Deaton & Arora, 2009) but they feel more stressed than average people.