You can listen to the audio version of this article.
Do you ever feel like you’re not sure what’s really going on? Like someone is telling you one thing, but your gut is telling you something else? If so, you may be experiencing gaslighting.
What is gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a technique that someone uses to make you doubt your own sanity. It can be very subtle and difficult to detect, but it’s important to know if it’s happening to you. Gaslighting usually starts with a small comment or action that seems insignificant, but over time becomes more frequent and targeted. The goal of gaslighting is to make you question your reality and doubt your own intuition.
How do I know if someone is gaslighting me?
There are a few key signs that can indicate whether or not someone is gaslighting you. If you experience any of the following, there’s a good chance that you’re being gaslighted:
- You feel like you can’t trust your own judgement.
- You constantly doubt yourself and your decisions.
- You feel like you’re going crazy or that you’re ‘overreacting’.
- Someone is always telling you that you’re wrong, even when you know you’re not.
- The person doing the gaslighting makes you feel like you’re being paranoid or overly sensitive.
What can I do about it?
If you think you’re being gaslighted, the first step is to talk to someone about it. It can be really helpful to talk to a friend, family member, therapist, or any other trusted person about what’s going on.
It’s also important to be assertive and set boundaries with the person doing the gaslighting. You may need to limit your interactions with them or even end the relationship altogether. Remember, you have a right to feel safe and happy in your own life.
Yes, this is hard, and it’s going to feel out of your comfort zone, but the sooner you lay down the boundaries and stick with them, the more confident and secure you’re going to feel with yourself. Of course, if you start laying down your boundaries and they aren’t respected, or even if the other person becomes volatile, then it may be time to start thinking about leaving the relationship.
It’s a hard decision to make, and the other person is probably not going to make it feel any easier. If you’re married, you may need to start looking into divorce lawyers Melbourne, or wherever you are based, to help guide you through the process, but long-term, you’re going to be a lot better off because of it.
Takeaway
In all your relationships, if you feel like there’s a problem or your gut instinct is telling you something is up, there probably is – which means it’s time to start looking for the signs.
Gaslighting is a particularly nasty form of emotional abuse that can make you feel like you’re losing your mind, so it’s important to be aware of it happening to you and to take action. Remember, you have a right to be happy and safe in your own life.
Dennis Relojo-Howell is the managing director of Psychreg.